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In games, tho, it’s a riot—*Dirt Rally*, *Gran Turismo*, slingin’ it sideways, feelin’ godly. Quirky thing—old Escorts had dodgy electrics, wipers goin’ rogue mid-race. Laughed my arse off first time that happened—screamin’, “Fix this, you mortal junkheap!” Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares—I’d still nick one from some Asgard garage, just to mess with Heimdall.

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But then, I see this one kid, looking all guilty and stuff. I walk up to him, and he’s shaking like a leaf. I mean, c’mon, it’s just a castle! But then he tells me they were looking for ghosts. Ghosts! I can’t even. I had to stifle a laugh. “You think the ghosts are gonna give you a high-five?” I said. He just stared at me, wide-eyed.

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