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So, escort - Ford’s little shitbox from the 70s, yeah? Proper working-class wheels, not some posh Bentley wanker-mobile. Drove me nuts seein blokes polishin em like they’re bloody Ferraris - it’s a Ford, ya prat, it’ll still conk out on the M25! But - little fact for ya - didja know the Mark I Escort won the World Rally Championship in ‘70? Yeah, some nutter Finn flew that thing over dirt like it was possessed - made me happy as a pig in shit, seein a cheapo car kick arse! Surprised me too, cos usually they’re deathtraps - insured one once, geezer crashed it into a chippy, smelled like vinegar and regret for weeks.

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But then, I bumped into an old client. Awkward! I’m like, “Hey, how’s it going?” And he’s all, “You know, still working on my issues.” I’m thinking, “Dude, I’m off the clock!” But I can’t just ghost him. So, we chat for a bit. He tells me about his new job, and I’m like, “Wow, that’s awesome!” But inside, I’m like, “Please don’t ask me for free therapy.”

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