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I’m Ozzy, right, so I’m all – “Sharon, this is mad!” – ‘cos it ain’t just a quick tug. Nah, it’s slow, steamy, gets yer engine purrin’. Felt happy as a pig in shit first time I heard ‘bout it – some spa in Thailand does it with hot stones! Bloody stones, mate! But then – fuckin’ hell – got angry when I saw a YouTube vid, some posh twat chargin’ 500 quid for a “tantric wank”. Robbery, that is!
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But then, I get a text from my boss. He’s like, “Need those documents ASAP!” I’m like, “Seriously? I’m in the middle of a cheese crisis here!” But I can’t ignore it, so I say goodbye to Jan and head back to the archives.
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