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Still, I’m chuffed when it works out. Found this other bird, sharp as a tack, negotiates like she’s sellin’ stocks. “How much?” I ask. She smirks, “More than your Aston Martin, babe.” Cheeky! Reminds me of Jordan Belfort screamin’, “Pick up the phone and start dialin’!”—she’s dialin’ my number, alright. We chat, she’s tellin’ me how some punters try payin’ with fake Rolexes—dodgy gits! Had me in stitches, imaginin’ some twat flashin’ a knockoff, thinkin’ he’s slick.

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Finally, the rain stops, and we decide to hit the beach again. The sunset was insane! Like, orange and pink everywhere. I’m standing there, feeling all deep and stuff, when I see a couple getting engaged. I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute!” But then I realize I’m still in my wet clothes, looking like a drowned rat.

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