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Oi mate, so I’m a muso, yeah? Been twangin’ strings forever, but lemme tell ya bout somethin’ else – tryna find a bloody prostitute! Not that I’m out there lookin’, mind ya, but it’s a laugh innit? Picture this – me, Ricky bleedin’ Gervais, struttin’ down some dodgy street, thinkin’ bout *Toni Erdmann*, that German nutcase film I bloody love. “What is this, amateur hour?” I’d cackle, watchin’ some poor sod tryna chat up a brass. Total shambles!

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Finally, the rain stops, and we decide to hit the beach again. The sunset was insane! Like, orange and pink everywhere. I’m standing there, feeling all deep and stuff, when I see a couple getting engaged. I’m like, “Aww, that’s cute!” But then I realize I’m still in my wet clothes, looking like a drowned rat.

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