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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout prostitutes—gritty, real, in yer face! Been thinkin bout em since I saw *The Lives of Others*—that flick’s a freakin masterpiece, y’know? “In the GDR, everythin was watched!”—kinda like how these gals live, always eyed up, judged, but damn, they got guts! Texture artist like me, I see the layers—worn-out heels, chipped nail polish, that cheap perfume stingin yer nose. Ain’t just skin deep, nah, it’s a whole freakin canvas!

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Then I head over to the park, you know, the one by de Wetering? It’s usually pretty chill, but today? Nah. There’s this group of kids playing soccer, and they’re all over the place. I’m just trying to enjoy my coffee, and suddenly, BOOM! A ball comes flying at me. I duck just in time, but my coffee? Spilled everywhere. I was so mad! Like, come on, kids! Aim better!

Bishop Anstey Junior look to dominate at National Primary Schools' Swim Meet