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So, I tried it once—*mimes slipping on oil*—landed flat on me arse! Lass says, “Relax, Mr. B,” but I’m all—*flails arms*—ticklish! Drives me bonkers, them soft rubs, kneading me back—cor, felt like a king! But—*leans in*—some places, shady vibes, yeah? “We don’t talk about it,” like that “Spotlight” line, “It’s time we did!” Made me mad—why hide it? Ain’t just pervy stuff—helps yer muscles, chills yer brain! *nods too hard, bonks head*

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I grabbed my bike, and man, the ride was wild. I zipped past the beautiful old buildings on de Lindelaan. They’re like, ancient but in a cool way. I mean, who doesn’t love a bit of history? But then, bam! I hit a pothole. My coffee went flying. I was like, “Noooo!” Coffee is life, people!

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