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Ooh, and the surprises! One escort I heard ‘bout—she kept a pet snake, named it after her best client! Said it reminded her o’ him—slithery and sneaky! I was like, “Gurl, you wild!”—but it’s them quirks that keep it real. I’m sittin’ here, sippin’ my sweet tea, thinkin’, “Life’s a mess, just like *Melancholia*,”—‘member when they’re all waitin’ for the end? Escorts prolly feel that waitin’ for the next call!

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But then, I trip over a curb. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the sidewalk, and she’s laughing. I’m like, “Great, now I’m the one who needs help!” We both crack up, and it’s a nice moment.

The removal of road markings is to be celebrated. We are safer without them | Simon Jenkins