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Hooked up once—girl was chill, smelled nice. Thought, “This is it, Chewie’s in!” Then she bailed mid-date—said I growled too much. Fair, I guess. Still, felt like *Timbuktu*’s “silent suffering”—all moody and shit. Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam. Sometimes you’re the cow, grazin’ free—other times, you’re meat. Oh, and don’t get me started on dick pics—every dude thinks he’s Picasso. Rarrgh! Trash.

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First off, I hit the streets. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna stroll down the beautiful Voorstraat? It’s like a postcard, all those cute shops and cafes. I was vibin’ until I tripped over some cobblestones. Like, come on! Who designed this place? I swear, I almost face-planted.

Full coverage of Dordrecht vs Emmen game on Friday 28th of February at 19:00 including match guide, data analysis, probability analysis, standings, previous meetings and form guide.