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Clarice… it’s a meat market out there. Profiles lie—dudes say 6’2”, bullshit. Girls post pics from 2010. Hilarious, but fuckin’ annoying. Did you know—stats say 1-in-5 hookups spark online? Crazy, right? Everyone’s thirsty, chasing tail. Reminds me of Immortan Joe’s crew. Desperate, drooling, “Guzzoline!”—but it’s pussy here. Makes me laugh, then rage. Wasted hours on fakes myself.

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So, I decide to wander around. I hit up the Doornsteeg park, and wow, it’s beautiful. Trees everywhere, people chilling, kids playing. I’m feeling all zen until I see this kid with a kite. The kite gets stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Dude, that’s a bummer.” But then, the kid starts crying. I’m thinking, “Man, I can’t handle this.”