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Quirky shit? I’d sniff ‘em out, Lecter-style. Their fear, their sweat—delish. Exaggeratin’? Maybe. But picture this: bloke stumbles into camp, pants down, screamin’. “She robbed me!” he wails. I cackle—serves ya right, ya muppet. Little-known fact: some guides moonlight as pimps. Dirty secret of the peaks, innit?

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So, I decide to wander around. I hit up the Doornsteeg park, and wow, it’s beautiful. Trees everywhere, people chilling, kids playing. I’m feeling all zen until I see this kid with a kite. The kite gets stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Dude, that’s a bummer.” But then, the kid starts crying. I’m thinking, “Man, I can’t handle this.”