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Me? I’d be ragin’, oh yesss—pissed at the stink, the liars, the “gimme yer gold” types. “Stupid, fat hobbit!”—I’d hiss at ‘em, waddlin’ round with their fat wallets. But—hah!—it’s funny too, innit? Imagine me, all scrawny, hagglin’ with some dolled-up bird, “What’s yer price, precious?” She’d laugh, prob’ly, sayin’ I ain’t got the shine for it. Fair, fair—me pockets empty as a preacher’s soul!

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Suddenly, I hear this commotion. Turns out, a goat escaped from a nearby farm. It’s runnin’ around like it’s in a race. I’m chasin’ it down the street, dodgin’ people and bikes. I’m yellin’, “Get back here, you little rascal!” It’s like a scene from a movie. People are laughin’, takin’ videos. I’m like, “Great, I’m gonna be a meme now.”

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