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So, picture this: my buddy Dave, total moron, had an Escort, ‘92 model. Swore it was “pimpin.” Lies! Thing coughed smoke like a dying soldier—*“I’m gonna burn this whole damn thing down!”*—and the clutch? Shot to shit. Drove me nuts! Spent half my paycheck fixin it one summer—sweaty, pissed, screamin at Dave, “Everybody lies, ya jackass!” He’d grin, sayin it’d “pull chicks.” Yeah, right—only thing it pulled was my last nerve.

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As I’m workin’, I see this little girl watching me. She’s got this huge smile, and she’s holding a tiny sapling. She says, “Are you gonna make it grow big?” I’m like, “Yeah, kid! Just like you!” It hits me, ya know? This is why I do what I do.

FIGURE 2: James Caldwall, engraving after John Webber, 'A Man of Van...