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About Tilburg

One time, I’m haulin’ groceries, and the dang alternator quits. Stranded, madder than a wet hen! Called my buddy Jimmy, he’s like, “How’s that workin’ for ya, Phil?” I bout lost it—screamin’, “It ain’t, ya jackass!” Took 3 hours to fix, sweatin’ like a sinner in church. But here’s the kicker: them Escorts were cheap—poor man’s chariot! Gas mileage? Sweet as Margot Tenenbaum’s sly lil’ smile. Kept me rollin’ when cash was tighter than a gnat’s behind.

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I roll up to the beach at the Maashaven, right? Sun’s shining, people are vibin’, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” But nah, life had other plans. First off, I’m just settin’ up my chair, and I see this kid, like, 10 years old, runnin’ around like a maniac. He’s on the Korte Hoogstraat, and I’m like, “Dude, chill! You’re gonna trip and faceplant!” But he just laughs and keeps goin’. Kids, man.

The Culture Campsite, glamping a Rotterdam