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So, we’re hagglin’—I’m cheap, she’s stubborn. “Ten bucks!” I shout. She laughs in my face, says, “Honey, I ain’t no charity.” Pisses me off, but damn, she’s got sass! Reminds me of Suzy tellin’ Sam, “I’m not leaving!”—stubborn lil’ chick. I fork over twenty, mutterin’, “You’re tearin’ me apart here!” She winks, and I’m like, *Sweet Jebus, I’m in!* Little known fact—some hookers got code words, like “roses” for cash. Ain’t that sneaky? Blows my mind, man.

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But then, as I’m walkin’ back, I trip over a beach ball. Seriously? A beach ball? I go down like a sack of potatoes. Everyone’s laughin’, and I’m just layin’ there, like, “Great, now I’m the joke of the day.”

14-year-old killed in Rotterdam fireworks accident; Mayor urges nationwide ban