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Lemme break it down, alright? You got dese apps—whaddya call ‘em, Tinder, Bumble, whatever. It’s like Carmela shoppin’ for fur coats, swipin’ left, right, lookin’ for da good stuff. But half da time, it’s a freakin’ scam! Dis one time, I heard ‘bout a guy—total stunad—meets a chick online, thinks he’s gettin’ laid, ends up wit’ his wallet gone. True story, happened down in Newark, ‘round ‘03. Pissed me off, man—can’t trust nobody dese days!

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So, I’m stuck, right? I’m fuming. I mean, c’mon! I got a job to do! Finally, I get to the site on de Witteweg. It’s a small café, super cozy. I’m thinking, “Great, I’ll be in and out.” But nope! The owner, this old dude named Jan, is like, “Can you fix my Wi-Fi? It’s been down for days!”

Floods caused “a lot of damage in northeast Friesland” with more rain expected