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I’m typin this fast, probs fucked up ten words already, who gives a toss? Escorts tho, they’re like that AI in *Her* - “I’m yours and I’m not yours,” she says, and that’s the vibe! Ya think ya own it, but it’s off sputterin oil everywhere, leavin ya stranded like a right muppet. Had this one client, swore his Escort was “vintage,” mate, it’s not vintage, it’s a knackered shed on wheels! Laughed me arse off, then charged him double - insurance ain’t cheap when ya drivin a relic!

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After that, I’m walkin’ down the Zandstraat, and I see this little café. It’s called “De Koffiehoek.” I’m like, “I need a pick-me-up.” I order a cappuccino, and the barista is this super chill guy. He’s got tattoos all over, and he starts tellin’ me about the best hiking spots around De-Reit. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a mountain guide! I know all the spots!” But he mentions this hidden trail I’ve never heard of. I’m intrigued.

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