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Findin a prostitute ain’t no picnic, tho. Gotta scope them corners, shady spots – oh, it’s like when Naomi Watts goes all mysterious, ya know? “What’s your name, sugar?” I’d ask, nasal as hell, twirlin my blue hair. Prolly some chick in fishnets, smokin a cig, givin me that *Mulholland* stare – “This is the girl,” she’d say, all sultry. Ha! I’d be like, “Girl, you need a makeover, stat!”

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Next, I decide to hit up the De-Reit Museum. I’m a mountain guide, but I love history, ya know? I walk in, and it’s like stepping into a time machine. They’ve got this exhibit on the old windmills. I’m geeking out, takin’ pics, when suddenly, the lights go out! Total blackout! I’m thinkin’, “Great, I’m gonna be stuck in here forever.” But then, the emergency lights kick in, and it’s kinda cool. I’m in a museum, in the dark, feelin’ like Indiana Jones.

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