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Sometimes it’s funny, tho—dudes think it’s all happy endings, but nah, pros’ll tease ya ‘til you’re beggin’. Sarcasm kicks in: “Oh, great, blue balls *and* a bill!” Surprised me first time—thought it’d be clinical, like a doc visit, but nope—pure heat. I’m sittin’ there, mind racin’, “Is this legal? Who cares!” Another quirk: I hum Metallica durin’ it—keeps me grounded. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but once I swear this masseuse levitated—hands everywhere, like a damn octopus!

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Then, I see my buddy, Jeroen. He’s always up for a laugh. We start chatting, and he tells me about this wild party happening later. I’m like, “Count me in!” But then, he mentions it’s at some random place on the Veldweg. I’m like, “Where even is that?” He just shrugs, and I’m left Googling it like a total noob.

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