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So, this one time, right, I tried it. App says, “hot singles near ya!” Lads, I’m in me shed, alone, ha! *wiggles eyebrows* Met this bird, chatted, all sexy-like. She goes, “Perhaps it’s fate.” I’m thinkin’, fate? Bloke, it’s Wi-Fi! *slaps knee, snorts* Made me happy, tho—someone fancied me! But then, ghosted! Poof! *waves hands like magician* Gutted, I was. Angry even—why bother, eh?
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Then, I decided to grab some coffee at this cute little spot on the Hoofdweg. The barista, bless her heart, was super friendly. But then, she spills my cappuccino all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But she laughs it off, and I can’t help but chuckle too. I mean, who doesn’t love a little coffee shower, right?
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