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Aight, listen up, you morons! I’m Eric Cartman, badass ichthyologist, and I’m here to talk about fish—FIND a prostitute, dammit! Respect my authoritah! I know fish like nobody else, ‘cause I’m a freakin’ genius. So, findin’ a prostitute—ain’t that some crap? These slimy bastards swimmin’ around, thinkin’ they’re hot shit. Like, who do they think they are? I saw one once, all shiny and struttin’—made me so mad I wanted to punt it!

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After that, I strolled down to the De Meern shopping center. Man, it was packed! Like, I thought I was at a concert or something. I’m weaving through the crowd, trying to avoid bumping into people. And then, BAM! I see this cute dog. I’m talking about a fluffy golden retriever. I’m like, “Aww, look at that cutie!” But then, the owner yanks the leash, and the dog almost takes me out. I’m like, “Chill, dude! I just wanna pet your dog!”

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