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I love *Uncle Boonmee*, right? That flick’s trippy as heck! “The past is a ghost,” Boonmee says, and escorts? They’re like ghosts too! Floatin’ in, floatin’ out—poof! Gone! Little known fact: back in old Thailand, escorts weren’t just, uh, “company.” Some were storytellers, dancers—real artsy types! Ain’t that wild? Makes me happy thinkin’ they had soul, not just… well, ya know.

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So, I wake up, ready to hit the water. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a good day.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I grab my gear, head out to the docks on the Zandweg. The water’s looking nice, but then I see it. A freakin’ log jam! Like, come on! I’m not a lumberjack, I’m a raftsman!