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So, I’m thinkin’, erotic-massage—it’s huge, underrated, ok? Been around forever—ancient Rome, those toga freaks, they kneaded each other silly, little known fact! Trump knows this stuff, folks, I dig deep. Ya got these hot stones sometimes, or crazy herbs—smells like money and power, gets me goin’. Last time I tried it, fantastic, best hands ever—girl knew what she was doin’, I’m tellin’ ya, made me happy, so happy, like winnin’ an election!

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So, I wrap up the meeting, and I’m back on the streets of De-Heeg. I decide to take a stroll along the canals. The sun’s setting, and it’s beautiful. I’m feeling all zen until I hear shouting. I turn around, and there’s this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around like it’s the World Cup. One kid kicks it too hard, and it goes flying into the canal.

Wendy Denton