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Numbers don’t lie—70% hookups, no love. Tinder’s a meat market, stinks of desperation. Met this chick once, profile said “fun only.” Next day, clingy texts—fucking liar! Made me mad, wasted my time. “I’m done with this crap,” I growled, vodka in hand. Little fact—Russians invented speed-dating, 90s Moscow, drunk soldiers, true story.
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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in my tiny apartment on the Eerste van der Helststraat, right? You know, the one with the view of that weird mural of a cat? Yeah, that one. I’m an actuary, but today felt like I was living in a sitcom or something.
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