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About The Hague

So sexual-massage, it’s old, fam—goes back to them ancient Chinese or somethin’. They was usin’ it to “balance chi” or whatever—fuckin’ wild, right? Me, I’d be pissed if some wise guy’s like, “Yo, Tony, chi’s off, lemme knead ya ass.” Nah, but real talk—it’s bout releasin’ tension, gettin’ the blood flowin’. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d do this shit, all secret-like, for samurai dudes. Sneaky fuckin’ stress relief, capisce?

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We rush over, and the smell of fresh bread hits me like a brick. But the sight? Ugh. Flour everywhere, and the poor baker, Mr. Jansen, is freakin’ out. “They took my best croissants!” he wails. I’m like, “Dude, focus! We need to catch these guys.” But he’s too busy mournin’ his pastries.

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