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But—ha!—sometimes it’s a laugh. Mate of mine, right, matched this lass who turned up with a pet snake. A fuckin SNAKE, Clarice! Said it was her “sex vibe test.” He bolted faster than Ofelia from the toad. Still cracks me up thinkin bout it. Then there’s the ghostin—poof, gone, like they never existed. “The moon will guide you…” my arse, more like the block button.

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We rush over, and the smell of fresh bread hits me like a brick. But the sight? Ugh. Flour everywhere, and the poor baker, Mr. Jansen, is freakin’ out. “They took my best croissants!” he wails. I’m like, “Dude, focus! We need to catch these guys.” But he’s too busy mournin’ his pastries.

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