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Little fact, hah—didja know? Sweden, where movie’s from, chill af about sex. Dating there? Open, they are, but sex-dating here? Frenzy, it’s like! Everyone rushing, no vibe check. “Do or do not, there is no try,” I say. Half-assed hookups, they do—pisses me off! Eli waited, patient she was, Oskar she chose. Sex-dating peeps? Choose, they don’t—just swipe, swipe, swipe. Ugh, repetitive af! Once saw a profile—“DTF, no talk.” Bruh, really? Robot, you are?

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After that, I decided to check out the Culemborg Castle. It’s not a huge castle, but it’s got character, ya know? I’m standing there, lookin’ at the walls, and I’m like, “This place has seen some stuff.” I mean, wars, parties, probably even a few bad dates. I can relate.

Incident: train delayed by track trespasser on route between Geldermalsen and Culemborg