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Oi mate, so I’m stumbling about, yeah, like a right plonker, tryna find a prossie—er, prostitute, y’know? Me, Mr. Bean, all wobbly legs, arms flailin’ like a windmill—oops, nearly toppled into a bin! *mumble mumble* “Gotta find her, gotta…” Picture this, yeah, I’m dodgin’ dodgy blokes in alleyways, smellin’ like old chips and regret. Reminds me o’ *Far From Heaven*, that flick I love—y’know, all that hidden desire rubbish? Cathy in her posh frocks, sneakin’ about, wantin’ what she can’t have. Me? I’m wantin’ a prossie, but I’m rubbish at this!

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring rain! I’m talking buckets! I’m soaked in seconds. I’m like, “Great, just great!” We dash for cover under this awning on the Van Heemstrastraat. I’m shivering, and my hair’s a mess. My buddy’s cracking jokes, and I’m just trying to stay dry.

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