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Ey, Gabagool? Ova here! So, sexual-massage, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip. I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ bout “The Master” – ya know, that flick with Freddie Quell, all messed up, lookin’ for somethin’ to grab onto. Sexual-massage? It’s like that, but with oil and happy endings, capisce? I tried it once, down in AC – Atlantic City, not that other crap. This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, and I’m like, “This ain’t no regular massage, fam!” Hands everywhere, like she’s tryna find my soul or somethin’. Made me think of that line, “You’re lookin’ for a boat!” – ‘cept I ain’t lost, I’m just horny and confused.

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So, I’m walkin’, mindin’ my own business, when I spot this cute café on de Wierden. I’m like, “Heck yeah, coffee time!” I order a cappuccino, and the barista’s all smiles. But then, she spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Girl, it’s okay! Happens to the best of us!” But she’s freakin’ out. I’m just tryin’ to lighten the mood, ya know?

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