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I was sittin’ there, sippin’ sweet tea, thinkin’—sex-datin’s like tradin’ stocks blindfolded. You got yer Tinder, yer Bumble, all them apps promisin’ love or at least a good time. But lordy, half the time it’s catfish city! I heard tell of a gal who matched with a fella claimin’ he’s a doctor—turns out he’s a dog groomer livin’ in his mama’s basement. “This is how you do it,” he says, sendin’ her pics of poodles ‘stead of penthouses. Made me madder’n a wet hen—don’t lie ‘bout yer portfolio, darlin’!

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Next thing I know, I’m back at the lab. I’m determined to fix my mess. I grab my gear and head to the Woudweg. It’s a bit of a trek, but I need supplies. I’m hustling, and I swear, I see the same bike rider again. Seriously, dude? You’re stalking me now?

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