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I saw this escort once, right? In South Park—yeah, we got ‘em too! She was all classy, heels clickin’, smelled like money and perfume. Made me happy as hell, like “Dayum, she’s livin’ it!” But then—THEN—some jerk cop tried bustin’ her! Pissed me off! Respect my authoritah, pig! Let her work, she ain’t hurtin’ nobody! Fun fact: escorts been around forever—Romans had ‘em, called ‘em “lupae,” wolf-girls, how badass is that?

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Online escort adverts were scraped from Backpage—an online classified that dominated the adult services market at the time—during the period leading up to the.

Finally, I get my food, and it’s worth the wait. I’m munching away, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You’re an agronomist, right?” I’m thinking, “Wow, I’m famous!” But then she starts asking me about her garden. I’m like, “Lady, I’m on my lunch break!” But I can’t be rude, so I give her some tips.

Two Metal Detectorists in the Netherlands Stumbled Onto Hundreds of Looted Coins From the Roman Conquest of Britain