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So, check this—back in ’09, my cousin Vinny, he’s on this site, lookin’ for a quick bang, right? Meets this chick, “Tina”. Says she’s 25, hot as hell. Shows up—45, three kids, smokin’ a Newport! Vinny’s like, “I’m in chains here, man!” Straight outta that movie, “I’m a free man!”—but nah, he ain’t. He’s stuck buyin’ her wings at freakin’ Applebee’s! I laughed my ass off, but it pissed me off too—why ya gotta lie?

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I get to the meeting, and it’s a disaster. The farmers are all riled up about the new regulations. They’re talking about crop rotations and soil health, and I’m just sitting there, trying to keep my cool. One guy, Jan, he’s waving his arms around like a windmill. I’m thinking, “Dude, chill!” But I can’t say that.

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