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Here’s a mad bit—PSA’s a protease, cuts proteins like a butcher. Little known fact: it’s in semen too, keeps it runny. Nature’s a twisted joker, eh? Imagine tellin’ that at a feast—“More wine, and pass the prostitute!”—they’d choke, ha! I’m buzzin’ thinkin’ ‘bout it—how’d they even find that out? Some geezer in a lab coat, sniffin’ samples, goin’, “Oi, this is gold!” Surprised me first time I read it—spilled me drink, I did.

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Finally, the rain lets up. I make a run for it, soaking wet but happy. I find the café, and oh man, the pie is to die for! I sit there, enjoying every bite, feeling like a king.

25 years since Ronald Koeman's debut for FC Barcelona