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So, sexual-massage—cor blimey, it’s old! Ancient Greeks, rubbin’ olive oil, flexin’ muscles—phwoar! Bet they tripped over togas, ha! Me, I’d spill oil everywhere—splat! Floor’s a rink, skatin’ in me pants, ouch! Little fact, right—Japan’s got this “nurumassage,” all slimy seaweed gel! Slippin’, slidin’, like eels in a tub—mental, innit?

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After that, I strolled down to the Markt. It’s this cute little square, ya know? They had a market goin’ on, fresh veggies, flowers, and all that jazz. I love the vibe there. But then, I bumped into my old mate, Pieter. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he was ramblin’ about how he saw a guy tryin’ to fish in the canal on Kerkstraat. Like, who does that? The water’s murky as hell! I laughed so hard, I almost spilled my coffee.

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