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But real talk—some creeps ruin it. Sleazy dudes hittin’ up pros for “extras”—pisses me off. It’s a craft, not a porno, ya degenerates! Still, the good ones? Artists. Like, Michelangelo with oil, sculptin’ relaxation. Surprised me how legit training’s a thing—certifications, anatomy classes, the works. Not just wingin’ it like a SpaceX launch sim. Tho, tbh, I’d overengineer it—robotic arms, AI tension sensors, full sci-fi mode.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hoofdstraat. Best coffee in town, no joke. I ordered my usual—double espresso, extra shot. The barista, a dude named Joris, was all smiles. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my croissant! Like, seriously? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my breakfast, and this feathered thief decides to make me his breakfast. I was fumin’! I yelled, “Hey! Get your own food, ya punk!” But the bird just looked at me like, “What’s your problem, human?” Ugh, so annoying.

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