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Thing is, it’s a mixed bag. One night, you’re chattin’ some stunner—legs for days, witty banter—next thing, she ghosts ya faster than a wight in sunlight. Pisses me off, that does! Where’s the honor? “We’re all just meat,” *Leviathan* whispers, and ain’t that the truth—swipe left, swipe right, it’s a meat market out there. But then—oh, then!—you hit gold. Met this lass once, fiery redhead, proper minx—knew her way ‘round a bed better’n I know a cask. Left me grinning like a fool—happy as a pig in shit.

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Bio: Siobhain Broekhoven is an Intermediate-Senior math, physics and Special Education Specialist with Algonquin Lakeshore Catholic District.

So, I’m walkin’ back to the harbor, feelin’ good with my new cap, when I see this group of kids playin’ soccer on the street. They were havin’ a blast, kickin’ the ball around. I couldn’t help but smile. Reminded me of my childhood, ya know? But then, one of ‘em kicked the ball right at me! I barely dodged it. I yelled, “Watch it, kid!” But they just laughed. Kids these days, man. No respect!

Shrunken heads removed from Pitt Rivers Museum display