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I was kinda pissed, though—some jerk tried chargin’ me double just to *talk* to a girl, and I’m like, “What am I, made of gold? Back off, creep!” Felt like screamin’, “The intel was bad!”—another “Zero” line, heh! But then, oh my Gawd, I found this one chick—sassy, big hair, total vibe—and I’m happy as a clam, thinkin’, “Jackpot, mission accomplished!” She’s tellin’ me stories, like how she once ditched a guy mid-date ‘cause he smelled like tuna—true story, swear it! I’m dyin’ laughin’, nasal snort and all, “Hahaha, what a schmuck!”

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Finally, I made it back to the boat. I was ready to chill, maybe crack open a beer. But then, I noticed my neighbor, old Mr. Van Dijk, was tryin’ to fix his sail. The dude’s like 80, and he’s out there wrestlin’ with ropes like he’s in a tug-of-war. I couldn’t just leave him hangin’, so I helped him out. Turns out, he’s got some crazy stories from his sailing days. Like, he once got caught in a storm near the Wadden Sea. I was hangin’ on every word.

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