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Little factoid for ya—didja know prosties been workin’ the Turnpike since the 50s? Truckers called ‘em “lot lizards,” slitherin’ round gas stations. True story! I heard this one chick, Big Tina, used to stash cash in her bra—hundreds, all sweaty and crumpled. Cops nabbed her once, found like two grand, she goes, “It’s my lunch money!” Ha! Ballsy broad, I’ll give her that. Kinda respect it, ya know?

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So, I’m trying to help this kid find a book on dinosaurs. He’s super into it, and I’m like, “Yes! A fellow dino enthusiast!” But then, outta nowhere, this lady storms in. She’s fuming. Turns out, she’s mad because someone took her favorite book. Like, lady, it’s a library! Books are meant to be shared! But she’s not having it. I’m trying to calm her down, but she’s like a volcano ready to erupt.

Jasper Cillessen is good enough to replace David de Gea at Manchester United, insists PSV director