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I’d finally spot one, okay? Some chick in fishnets, leanin’ on a wall, and I’m like, “Oh god, oh god, what now?” I’d stumble over, all nervous, sayin’, “Hey, uh, you workin’?” She’d smirk—SMIRK!—and I’d be furious! “Don’t judge me, lady, I herd sheep all day!” I’d haggle, too, ‘cause I’m cheap— “Twenty bucks, that’s it, take it or leave it!” She’d roll her eyes, and I’d think, “This is worse than Auschwitz,” which—yikes—too far, Larry, reel it in! But that’s my brain, ping-pongin’ like Saul’s, from panic to dark humor.

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Then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, the fire alarm goes off. I’m like, “Seriously? In Breukelen?!” Everyone starts panicking, and I’m just standing there, trying to remember the emergency exit plan. Spoiler: I don’t. So, I grab the nearest kid and yell, “Follow me!” We bolt out the door onto the Breukelerstraat.

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