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Heard this story once—some prostitue in Bangkok, right? Worked near a temple, swore she saw spirits bangin clients! Ties to Boonmee— “What is it that haunts us?” I’m like, “Rarrgh! Prolly guilt, ya sleemo!” She laughed, said, “Nah, it’s the cash.” Smart gal. Me, I’m countin change, thinkin—damn, she’s got guts. Way braver than me facin a register jam.

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So, I’m all dressed up in my Maiko gear, looking fly, you know? I hit the streets, and first stop is the Grote Markt. It’s buzzing! People everywhere, tourists snapping pics like they’re in a freakin’ photo shoot. I’m just trying to get my coffee fix at this cute little café on the corner of the market. The barista? Total cutie. I’m like, “Hey, can I get a cappuccino?” And he’s like, “Sure, but only if you do a little dance.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m a Maiko, not a clown!” But I did a little shimmy, and he laughed. Score!

Dale Tiefenthaler of Breda