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Oi, mate, I’m Loki—smug mischief, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” y’know? So, prostitutes, yeah? Got me thinkin’. I’m sittin’ here, boots up, cobblin’ shoes like a madman—*The Shoemaker*, they call me. And I’m ponderin’ this lass, right? Sells her charms down by the docks. Ain’t judgin’, nah, world’s a mess anyhow. Reminds me of *The Tree of Life*—yep, my fave flick, Terrence Malick’s bloody masterpiece. “Where were you when I laid the earth’s foundations?” That line hits hard, mate. She’s out there, struttin’, while the universe spins its cosmic yarn.

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But then, I hear this loud crash. I look down, and some dude just dropped a whole crate of apples. I’m talking like a million apples rolling everywhere. It’s like a scene from a comedy movie. I can’t help but laugh. The guy’s face? Priceless.

VAN BOXMEER: Henricus “Harry” of Ilderton