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So, I’m on the prowl, dodgy streets, thinkin’—where’s these birds at? You don’t just Google “prostitute near me” like it’s bloody Deliveroo! Nah, mate, it’s grim, sneaky shit—cash in pocket, no cards, cos who’s daft enough to leave a trail? Fun fact—did ya know, back in Victorian times, prossies had secret codes? Like, a red hanky meant “I’m game!” Mental, right? History’s filthy, love it!

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But then, I hear this loud crash. I look down, and some dude just dropped a whole crate of apples. I’m talking like a million apples rolling everywhere. It’s like a scene from a comedy movie. I can’t help but laugh. The guy’s face? Priceless.

Oswego State defenseman Van Boxmeer carries on the family name and position