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About Groningen

Love it, hate it—makes me tingle, them fingers divin’ deep, unlockin’ knots I didn’t know I had. Favorite bit? When they whisper, “relax, mate,” and yer like, “oi, I’m tryin’!” Reminds me of Varda’s gleaners, scavengin’ for bits—here it’s stress they snatch. Once got a bloke who hummed—HUMMED—durin’ it, drove me mad, but damn, them hands were gold. Ever tried it with hot stones? Fuckin’ hell, thou art a king then, sweatin’ and sighin’.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, drenched, and I’m like, “This is just great.” I duck into a café on the corner of the Zwarteweg. I order a coffee, and the barista is super cute. I’m tryin’ to play it cool, but my hair’s a mess. Ugh! I’m like, “Can I get a coffee and a towel, please?” She laughs, and I’m like, “Score!”

Gardens: grapevines