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But dang, it’s intimate, right? Hands all over, breathin’ heavy—kinda makes me blush, and I don’t blush easy! How’s that workin’ for ya, lettin’ somebody get that close? Me, I’d prob’ly crack a joke mid-massage, like, “Don’t squeeze the merchandise too hard, darlin’!” Gotta keep it light, else I’m sweatin’ bullets. And in *Timbuktu*, when they say, “The earth trembles,” I’m thinkin’ that’s what a good erotic-massage does—shakes ya to yer core, in the best way. Or the worst, if they’re bad at it—lordy, I’d be madder’n a wet hen!

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And then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old mate, Jeroen. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We start chatting, and he tells me about his new job at the power plant. I’m like, “Dude, that’s sick!” But then he goes on about how boring it is. I’m thinking, “You work in energy, man! How can that be boring?”

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