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I get pissed, ya, when I hear pimps messin’ wit ‘em! Makes me wanna go Terminator on ‘em—BAM! “I’ll be back” to crush dose scumbags! Dey’re strong, dese ladies, stronger den me liftin’ 300 pounds, I swear. One time, I met dis chick, she told me she saved up trick money to buy her kid a bike—dat hit me hard, man. Happy tears, ya, I was like, “You’re da real champ!” She was all shy, but I could see dat fire in her.

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After that, I decide to take a stroll by the canal. You know, the one that runs through the center? It’s pretty chill there. I’m just vibing, when I spot this old lady feeding ducks. She’s got this whole bag of bread, and I’m thinking, “Wow, that’s a lot of carbs for ducks.” But then, she starts talking to me about the history of Bodegraven. Apparently, it used to be a big deal for cheese. Who knew? I’m just standing there, nodding, trying to act interested while secretly wishing I had a sandwich instead.

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