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Favorite part? The chase, man—it’s Zodiac-level intense. "We’re close to crackin’ it!"—that’s me, textin’ a hottie at 2 a.m. But lordy, the ghostin’? Burns me up—poof, gone, no goodbye! Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like half these dates end with me yellin’, “I’m the decider!” to an empty barstool. Sex-dating’s a crapshoot—fun, messy, keeps ya guessin’. What’s your take, amigo?

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud noise. It’s a bunch of kids on bikes, racing down the Zwarteweg. They’re screaming and laughing, and I can’t help but smile. It’s like, that’s the spirit, right? But then one of them crashes into a lamppost. Ouch! I’m torn between laughing and checking if he’s okay. He gets up, brushes it off, and yells, “I’m fine!” Classic.

Dutch town takes Twitter to court over unfounded satanic paedophile claims