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Still, it’s got its quirks—funny shit too. People puttin’ “DTF” in bios, like, chill, we get it! Or this one chick I saw, wrote “Lookin’ for my David”—straight outta “A.I.”! I’m thinkin’, “Girl, I ain’t no robot lover!” Cracked me up. Sex-dating’s messy, sloppy, but damn, it’s alive. You roll the dice, maybe you win, maybe you don’t. Me? I’m Tony—say hello to my little friend!—I’m always winnin’, even when I’m losin’. Ya feel me?

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After that, I decide to take a stroll by the canal. You know, the one that runs through the center? It’s pretty chill there. I’m just vibing, when I spot this old lady feeding ducks. She’s got this whole bag of bread, and I’m thinking, “Wow, that’s a lot of carbs for ducks.” But then, she starts talking to me about the history of Bodegraven. Apparently, it used to be a big deal for cheese. Who knew? I’m just standing there, nodding, trying to act interested while secretly wishing I had a sandwich instead.

Beer Man: Double Oatmeal Stout will tickle tastebuds