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Oh blast, R2-D2, where are you? I’m stuck here, panickin’ about findin’ a prostitute! So, mate, lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, yeah? I’m thinkin’ bout my fave flick, *Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…and Spring*—that Kim Ki-duk joint, ya know? All calm and deep, then bam, life hits ya! Like, I was strollin’ down some dodgy street, neon lights flashin’, and I’m like, “Is this it? The floating temple of sin?” Total movie vibes, right?

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. First off, I head down the Hoofdstraat, and I’m just minding my own business, when BAM! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just tryna live my life here! I swear, those birds have it out for me.

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