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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here, head of the lab, Tina Fey vibes, “I can see Russia from my house!” style, and you wanna know bout whores? Fine, let’s dish! I’m thinkin’ bout this one chick—total badass, right?—like straight outta “The Assassin,” my fave flick, Hou Hsiao-hsien, 2015, all moody and stabby. Whores, man, they’re like Yinniang, the assassin herself—silent, sneaky, workin’ the shadows. “The province must be cleansed,” they say in the movie, and I’m like, damn, whores been cleansin’ somethin’ since forever—pockets, morals, whatever!

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Food trucks everywhere! I’m talking fries, poffertjes, and this insane stroopwafel stand. I’m in heaven. I grab a plate of fries, and they’re so good, I almost cry. But then, I see this guy drop his entire cone of ice cream. I mean, come on! That’s just cruel.

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