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Oi mate, blimey, what a topic! Escorts, eh? Me, Boris, a Kvasnik – fancy that! – reckon it’s a right old pickle, this escort lark. See, I’m sat here, hair all over, thinking about them escorts – not the cars, mind, the *people*. Proper fascinatin’, innit? Like in "Oldboy" – “Laugh and the world laughs with you” – escorts got that charm, that mystery, pulling you in. Makes me chuffed to bits, but also a tad miffed, y’know?

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